High Tea at the Mount Nelson

27 January 2019

HIGH TEA @ MOUNT NELSON HOTEL

Seeing as how the domestic production and consumption of marijuana has been decriminalised, I suggested to the fam that we fortify ourselves before heading off to the “venerable Nellie” for high tea to end off the younger goddaughter’s birthday weekend, but my suggestion fell inexplicably on deaf ears. Dad jokes, much?

The wife is a veteran of the high tea at the Mount Nelson but it was the first time for me, the goddaughter and her significant other. The elder goddaughter would have joined us if it were not for an inconvenient, debilitating tummy ailment.

Apparently, the French luxury goods brand LVGH now owns the hotel and they might have invested some bucks into upgrading the lounge from the old colonial grandeur to neo-colonial grandeur; the elegance is still old-school yet seems updated into modern colours and lightness of touch, amidst the ancient ambience of the place. One almost wants to wear a white linen suit and Panama hat and expect to encounter ladies in summer frocks, broad brimmed hats and white gloves. The client base is obviously the affluent local and tourist, and the latter appear to have embraced the challenges of wildest Africa, judging by their demeanour and dress. We were casually dressed but some of the foreigners dressed as if the jungle were just outside the front door.

We seated ourselves in a corner, with two wingback chairs and settee around a low coffee table. Our service ambassador, one of a crew bustling about, explained that savouries would be served at the table and sweets obtainable from the two laden buffet tables at one side of the room. For R395 a person, one could eat unlimited quantities of the delectables, and drink tea or filter coffee. On the other hand, the common or garden cappuccino would be an eye watering R50 a cup. I almost ordered one just for the hell of it, to see what a R50 cup of coffee would look and taste like. Fortunately, I’m not as crazy as I act. The tea menu is quite extensive for those who like something different to breakfast tea, such as the younger goddaughter. The wife and I stuck to Earl Grey tea and the significant other chose the filter coffee, and later the wife also ordered a pot of coffee, not being much of a tea drinker.

I’d heard of the legendary abundance of the high tea buffet at the Mount Nelson and I was not disappointed with the bounty on offer. We ordered two rounds of savouries and had excellent scones too, and over indulged before we even got to the sweet stuff. The variety of savouries, in different shapes and sizes, were as extraordinary as the tastes and flavours and if they were carb and gluten heavy, that’s okay.  This was a celebration of decadence.

The sweets were as spectacular in the variety of different bites and a tad overwhelming and far too much for me at the end of the savoury feast, so I chose a desiccated coconut covered koesiester, a vanilla, sugar crusted marshmallow, a cube of Turkish Delight and a slice of lemon tart. Only the soft, flavourful Turkish Delight was a good choice. The lovely texture and taste of homemade marshmallow was ruined by the excessive sugar, the koesiester was too spicy and the lemon tart was overly sweet too. At these high teas, the sweet things are the weakest part for me because they aren’t the kind of thing I enjoy but my companions were delighted with their choices though they, too, felt they’d eaten too much of the savoury stuff, and too quickly, to enjoy the sweets to the max.

To recap: the ambience was life affirmingly elegant, the service was discreet and efficient and the food was abundant, of high quality and delish. After this experience I understand why the Nellie high tea is constantly rated as probably the best in Cape Town.