Holy Smoke

30 October 2019

HOLY SMOKE

42 Canterbury Street, Cape Town

When I phoned to book (for the third time; on the previous two occasions unforeseen events kiboshed the outing), I was asked whether I wanted to pre-order the giant ribs, allegedly between 800g and 1 kg of beef rib, that would be gently and lovingly smoked from dawn to dusk before being served. It was imperative to pre-order.

Tantalising as that sounded, I’m a pork rib person and no amount of beef ribs, no matter how exquisitely smoked, will tempt me.

The brief version of Holy Smoke's mission statement would be that it’s Hoghouse's little sibling. The barbecue hut and burger vibe are in the same ballpark though Holy Smoke is more modest in its ambitions.

The wife and I went with the same two friends with whom we visited Bones a good few months ago when the ear pulverising noise in the place dampened our enjoyment of the evening. When we stepped inside Holy Smoke it was noisy too but here we could at least have a conversation and during the course of the evening the initial onslaught of decibels dissipated considerably.

Part of the background noise later in the evening was a pub quiz. It seems that Wednesday nights are “special” nights in that there is a toasted bun and gin deal, and possibly a regular quiz thing too. It was a suitably Hallowe’en themed horror movie quiz and we declined participation. I’m a quiz whiz when it comes to general knowledge but I’m not a horror movie fan.

Holy Smoke is on the upper floor of some ancient hotel building on Canterbury Street, next to Charlie’s Bakery and above a new(ish) joint called Escobar that seems to be some kind of South American cantina. All of this is part of the trending East City precinct.

The interior get up of Holy Smoke, with white subway tiles, a large bar counter, banquette seating against the side walls and small tables, is generic pub and though neat and tidy, not luxurious or elegant.  On looks and pricing this is the kind of joint where one drops in casually when you want a burger or ribs and a drink.  It’s not a date night destination unless it’s for a blind date you have grave doubts about.

The prices are very reasonable. Main course meat (brisket, pork ribs and belly) is priced by weight, a quarter spatchcock chicken is R60, a full rack of pork ribs is R140 and the giant beef ribs are R295 a rib. The filled, toasted buns are R75 a piece, and burgers range from R110 to R145, including two Beyond Meat options. Macaroni “buns,” anyone? Some of the dishes come with one side but there are more sides if you want a bulkier meal, particularly if you’re just ordering something by weight.

One member of the party had the special of pork filled toasted bun and fries with a gin & tonic (R90), and the other three had the smoked meat platter of 200g pork ribs, 70g brisket (two slices) and 70g pork belly, served with corn bread and side of your choice. At R145 this platter is a serious bargain.  If you feel cash flush, you can add sides to bump up the cost of the meal.

My side was onion rings and the wife ordered the truffle fries.

Of the meat dishes the pork belly was the weakest link for me, with leathery, chewy skin (why can’t they just crisp it up separately?) and a dire need of a sauce to elevate the somewhat bland meat, and it should perhaps have cooked for a bit longer too. The wife thought the belly was excellent but agreed that the skin was rubbery. On the other hand, the succulent brisket was perfection on a board and the deliciously sticky, juicy ribs were fingerlickin’ heaven. The lovely, chunky slice of cornbread, one of my top favourite breads, could’ve been fresh from the baking tin and was very tasty. The onion rings were okay, not of the same order as the chubby Hoghouse rings, but quite edible.

I believe everybody ate well and at the end of it all we sat back with a deep feeling of satisfaction. We can fine dine with the best but every now and then one wants a simple, well-cooked, no frills, meat meal. 

Dessert options were extremely limited. It was either a deep fried Snicker bar with ice cream or some kind of underfed (judging by the sample we were shown) chocolate brownie. The other three ordered the Snicker bar thing. I had a couple of mouthfuls of the wife’s dessert. She didn’t realise that the Snicker contains peanuts and as I’m the only nut she likes, this dessert wasn’t her best. I liked the ice cream, but I don’t care for deep fried chocolate. 

As I’ve mentioned, the initial noisy vibe quietened down through the course of the evening though we were subjected to one of the most enervated, lacklustre quiz evenings I’ve ever attended, even if it was as a non-participant, and shortly after 21h00 the place was just about empty. Perhaps Wednesdays are not the big nights here, perhaps it was the highly unpleasant windy conditions.

Holy Smoke serves good, simple food and has a good feel to it, provided you’ve come for a low key, unpretentious dinner, possibly on the spur of the moment. It doesn’t seem trendy and the staff have an amiable, neighbourly attitude. We were the oldest patrons in the joint and the staff must’ve thought it best to be especially nice to the slightly out of place older folks.