BamBoo

13 December 2019

BAMBOO

210 Loop Street, Cape Town

Plant based is the new vegetarian and some of it seems to be tailored for carnivores who want to be on trend yet still have a hankering for the familiar taste and/or aroma of cooked meat. If you are of that ilk, starting off with meat free Mondays and now gullet deep in the trend, or are a vegan who secretly yearns for the carnivorous lifestyle, I can point you to a place where you’ll feel right at home.

BamBoo Plant Power opened last week in the space where Primal Café had taken over from EuroHaus, very briefly as it turned out, and is yet another venture into faddish plant-based cuisine. Here you can indulge in a carrot dog, cured carrot lox or cauliflower “chicken” wings.  Another reason to go on living, eh?

I arrived at 08h40 just after the end of the day’s early morning loadsheddiing and was told the joint would open at 09h00, so I wandered around the CBD for a bit to see what’s shaking in the neighbourhood. There seems to be a fair amount of changes. What used to be Homage 1862 further along in Loop Street, is now Maaya. On lower Kloof Street, across from the Workshop 17 building is another outlet of The Poke Co and, incredibly, yet another Bootlegger. That section of Kloof Street looks to be a new centre  of hot spots.

Bamboo has retained the setup of its predecessor, with the barista corner on one side facing the kitchen on the other, banquette seating, and small tables, against the walls, and one larger, round, corner table. The furniture is dark coloured and simple but there’s nothing yet to bring the interior together and it all feels a bit forlorn. I trust it’s early days for the establishment and that homey touches will be added to give some welcoming emotional warmth to the place.

The breakfast menu is the briefest I’ve ever seen with two muffins and a waffle stack. If you don’t care for those, there are three toasties on either sourdough bread or a sweet potato slice.

The egg & cheeze  muffin has a chickpea egg and “cheddar.” The lox muffin has cured carrot lox and cashew nut cream cheese.  The toasties feature different types of pseudo cheese and one has pseudo bacon.

The lack of variety (not even a muesli or porridge option) was disappointing.

I was forced into a “making the best of a challenging situation” choice and ordered the blueberry buckwheat waffle stack (R75) with blueberry jam, coconut yoghurt, seasonal fruit and toasted coconut flakes.

I’d heard of coconut yoghurt before and I then googled the definition of yoghurt and it’s definitely a dairy product. Whatever the milky, slight gooey substance on the waffles was, it wasn’t yoghurt. 

The stack was built with three segments of chunky, cocoa flavoured Belgian style waffles, strewn with diced pieces of fruit and smears of “yoghurt” that‘s just not as thick or satisfying as yoghurt, and brought nothing to the party. The waffles, though light and tasty, became cumulatively too dry and needed more wetness, from either the fauxgurt, which was too thin and dissipated too quickly, or a syrup.  If there was blueberry jam om the waffles it, it was so little to make no difference. Dunno about the coconut flakes either.

As waffle stacks go, this dish is okay but not outstanding.

What did warp my fragile little mind though, was that the “cutlery” was a plastic knife and fork set, perhaps in keeping with the ethos of substitutes for the real thing but one wouldn’t think a plant-based business would utilise disposable plastic ware.

The espresso (R20) was served in a shot glass; there’s no sugar on the table.  

I didn’t get to enquire whether all other coffee would be served with milk substitutes, as no-one ever returned to me to ask whether there was anything else, I might want.  I’m assuming, though, that I wouldn’t have been able to have milk with my customary end of meal latté.   As much as I like vegan food, I loathe milk substitutes. Cremora, anyone?

I hurried home to my trusty mocha for my second coffee of the morning.

I’ve said this before, and I will say it again: I don’t want to eat “bacon” or “beef” or “chicken” or “Cheddar” or “Mozzarella.”  What the fig is mushroom “bacon,” chickpea egg, cashew parmesan or cauliflower “chicken” wings?  

I’m as happy to eat vegan food as I am to eat meat and for the life of me, I don’t get why I should eat pseudo-meat, especially if I’m a committed vegan. If it’s a ploy to draw in carnivores by presenting plant-based dishes as if they’re meat or poultry, I’d think it’s pointless. If steak and chips are my thing, why would I even consider going to BamBoo?  Have the courage of your convictions and serve plant-based food with no reference to anything derived from animals or poultry.  Don’t dress up mutton as sham, to coin a phrase.

Let’s hope that BamBoo is still a work in progress, that the interior will be zhoozhed up a bit to make it homier and that the menu will be more expansive and honest about its vegan finery.  A plant-based eatery must be risky, as it is, never mind the trend, and if you can’t establish your restaurant as a must-visit, hard times are around the corner in the competitive Cape Town restaurant industry.