Steak night at The Hussar Grill

13 November 2021

 

THE HUSSAR GRILL

New Cumberland Building, 163 Beach Road, Mouille Point, Cape Town

 

Once, in prehistory, there was nothing as exciting as going out to a steakhouse and grill room for huge hunks of  beef, perhaps some BBQ ribs or half a grilled chicken or, once in a while when one wants to eat healthily, the grilled line fish of the day. Come to think of it, back in the day the steakhouse was pretty much the people’s choice because there was nothing like the variety of cuisines and upmarket restaurants we have today.

 

When I moved to Cape Town in 1996, my Old Capetonian friends took me to the original Hussar Grill on Main Road in Rondebosch, claiming that it had the best hamburgers in Cape Town.  My recollection of the place was that it was dark inside, with an old-fashioned dark wood get up. I don’t recall whether the burger was as exemplary as claimed, though I probably didn’t eat the burger often, as I was half a grilled chicken kind of guy at the time. I think I ate at the Hussar perhaps three times in all in the late 80s and never again.

 

My conception of The Hussar Grill was that it was one of those old-fashioned Cape Town steak houses that were dinosaurs even in the  late ‘80s and would disappear in time like almost all of them did. I was mightily surprised to learn that The Hussar Grill became a franchise eatery, as the original did not seem that exceptional to me, never mind being worthy of franchising. After tonight’s dinner, I still don’t get it.

 

Tonight, the wife and I joined two friends, who aren’t the fine dining types and like meat and plenty of it, at the Mouille Point outlet of the franchise. By 19h00 on a perfect Cape Town evening there was already a happy throng comprising of a good mixture of dating couples, families, and gatherings of chums. If you’re looking for a vibey joint, I guess this could be it.

 

The décor style is elegant modern bistro, with lots of dark wood, plenty of funky wall decorations, a mixture of banquette seating and upholstered chairs  and a general air of upmarket yet homey. I’d say the place is pretty much back to full pre-Covid capacity. The tables do not seem to be spaced especially far apart.

 

The Hussar’s menu is quite extensive, based around the grilling of various types of meat, some seafood and a small vegetarian (not vegan as far as I could see) section. I noted items like garlic snails, prawn and avocado cocktail, crumbed mushrooms, The Hussar carpetbagger, to name a few, in a list that seems to be geared towards nostalgic memories of the ‘70s and ‘80s and the parent grill house.

 

Three of us started with cocktails, the other guy drank a craft beer, the wife had a second cocktail and I switched to beer too. According to the wife, her gin-and-strawberry cocktails was the highlight of her evening. Other than the conversation, of course.

 

The Hussar replaces the bread course with a bowl of moreish warm, probably freshly cooked, potato crisps and a bowl of delicious olives.  This was a welcome alternative to the usual but I was mildly surprised that we weren’t given some sliced baguette and butter, to honour the nostalgia for yesteryear’s steakhouses.

 

As soon as I saw the Hussar carpetbagger on the menu, my mind was made up. I’d eaten it for the first, and hitherto last, time at a German restaurant in Windhoek in 1983, where also, on the whim of a reckless youth, I ordered my steak rare, having grown up with well-cooked steak, and experienced an epiphany.

 

My starter, though, was the “Hollandse (what else?) bitterballen” (R75)

with a horseradish type mayonnaise. I’d eaten bitterballen in the Netherlands 10 years ago (jeez, time flies) and didn’t get why it was meant to be a famous delicacy. The Hussar’s take on them have a lovely crisp, crunchy  crust, for added texture but the creamy contents, with the texture of liver paste, taste of nothing and absolutely need the spicy mayo to make it palatable. I will not eat bitterballen again.

 

The wife’s prawn and avocado cocktail (R105)

was not the classic avocado Ritz, but rather a deconstructed version thereof, on a plate. It was mediocre with too little avo and fairly tough prawns.

 

Her friend’s Cajun calamari starter (R90) was too spicy for her taste and seemed a tad parsimonious to be a decent portion.

 

My first 300g steak

, with a side of butternut and creamed spinach (R240)

, was brought to me probably medium despite my clear and precise instructions to the waiter that I wanted my steak as “rare as possible.” I complained, and the offending meat was removed and replaced tolerably rapidly with a steak that was perfectly rare. The vegetables were okay but the carpetbagger sauce was kind of meh, being just a gloopy, creamy dressing with little distinctive flavour or taste.

 

The wife’s 300g fillet (R210) (with fries and sauce on the side) was also served medium instead of the medium rare she asked for, and the supposed béarnaise sauce (R36) tasted of nothing, and her friend’s beef burger (R120) was served with an overcooked patty.  Both of them ought also to have sent their food back but resigned themselves to eating their meals as served. Too many complaints from the same table would’ve been awks.

 

One would think the one thing a grill house would not be faulted on is how they cook their steaks.

 

The friend’s husband ordered the 1kg T-bone steak (R310), cooked rare, and he hit the jackpot with a sizable hunk of beef (two, uh, beefy fingers thick), well caramelised on the outside and rare inside. He happily gorged himself. 

 

For once the desserts didn’t elevate the evening. The wife, who was already too full for much else, contented herself with ice cream and chocolate sauce (R60) that were, well, ice cream and chocolate sauce that could’ve been, in her words, from Shoprite. Her friend, a chocaholic of note, had the “death by chocolate dessert” (R65) that, to paraphrase her opinion, was a “not even close to death” experience and my malva pudding (R65), served, with custard on the side and ice cream on top, was overbaked, with a tough crust, and my suspicion was that the ice cream was intended to hide the patent failure.

 

The service was good and cheerful and, as I’ve mentioned, my first steak was replaced quickly and without any push back, but the feeling was that The Hussar is, in the wife’s favourite description of underperforming restaurant food, decidedly average, with food that is neither bad nor memorable. It is a well-mannered steakhouse but not a fine dining emporium and one must perhaps not expect a higher quality of product than that which appeals to the broad range of diners with relatively unrefined palates.

 

The Hussar was an interesting experience, and it was for the experience that we went, but at this time in our lives we would almost rather only go out to dinner at proper high-end eateries  or cook at home, rather than eat at middle-of-the-road restaurants that, like The Hussar, ain’t cheap but also don’t deliver true value for money.

 

The bill, for four people and including drinks, came to R1764,00 and when the tip is included, we paid roughly R500 a head. The food really wasn’t worth it. You can’t fault it, but you also can’t praise it without reservation.