Grumpy & Runt

 28 January 2022

 

GRUMPY & RUNT

Dunkley Square, Lower Gardens, Cape Town.

 

The part of Dunkley Square where Grumpy & Runt is situated is a splendidly verdant concourse, with three establishments with tables under the many trees offering shade on a warm day. There’s Roxy’s on the one corner and Maria’s on the other corner, with G & R between them. On a warm, wind free summer’s day there are so many people hanging out at the tables under the trees I’m reminded of those famous Impressionist painting of Parisians at leisure in some forest setting.

 

G & R only offers outside seating. The front room serving area is quite small with a relatively small space in front of the service counter, which displays an enticing variety of doughnuts with different sweet toppings.

 

The doughnuts are possibly he USP of G & R (a dad brought his young daughter here this morning for a doughnut breakfast and she was palpably excited about it) but the other thing is that the food is vegan, and includes carrot “lox,” vegan pastrami, “f’egg,” “not chicken” and “fakin.”

As I’ve made clear, I like vegan food and I loathe the concept of ersatz meat and nobody is going to persuade me to eat something called “fakin;” perhaps it’s to bacon what methadone is to heroin, but I have no use for it. 

 

To avoid complications, I ordered the tofu scramble (R85), tarted up a little to resemble creamy scrambled eggs, on a bagel, plus two cinnamon doughnuts and a flat white, all of it for R169.00.

 

One orders and pays at the counter. The coffee and doughnuts were brought to me perhaps 15 minutes before I received my warm breakfast, by which time the coffee was rather cold. I’ll know better next time to request that I get the beverage and pastries after the meal, as that was the order I intended consuming them in. Also, G & R has a big sign stating that they don’t take cash. I would’ve liked a warm coffee at the end of my meal but it seemed wrong to buy a single coffee by way of a card purchase, so I left it.

 

The bagel was served on a sheet of grease proof paper in a tin plate, which is not a good idea because the tofu is so creamy it oozes out from underneath the top half of the bagel and whether you try to pick up the bagel and eat it with your hands or use the knife and fork to cut off pieces of bagel, it’s a mess. I followed the latter course and eventually you’re left with torn paper and small heaps of tofu all over the plate and slightly one with the paper underneath.  Lose the grease proof paper, I’d say.

 

That gripe aside, the bagel was good and the tofu was creamy, tangy and yummy.  A satisfactory light breakfast. 

 

My fave local doughnut purveyor used to be Decadent Doughnuts, longs since gone to the Great Doughnut Machine in the Sky. The Dunkin Donuts product was sub-par and I just don’t like the overly sweet, gooey texture of Krispy Kreme. For now, right now, Grumpy & Runt is it, doughnut-wise.

 

I prefer the simple, classic cinnamon sugar doughnut and G & R makes the sleek luxury limousine of doughnuts, and, to use another simile, they’re so large, so plump and so aerated, one could fit four of them to a small car and drive cross-continent, and they’re so fluffy and delicate of crumb one almost doesn’t have to chew. This was heaven.

 

If you’re into vegan fare, love scrumptious doughnuts and thrive in a rustic, vibey, leafy outdoors dining environment, Grumpy & Runt is for you.