Looking for Happy Endings

 27 July 2022

 

Happy Endings

via UberEATS

 

I was considering various snappy intros, considering the, uh, provocative name of this relatively new Chinese take away but discretion got the better of me and I’ll just go “nudge, nudge, wink, wink; say no more!” for the Monty Python fans in the group.

 

Tayfun Aras, the famed owner of Anatoli, when it was still a Turkish restaurant, is involved in the business, a “dark kitchen” operating from a secure, secret location, and I was therefore intrigued and interested in trying the food. 

 

UberEATS, or for that matter any food delivery service, isn’t exactly my first choice for stove to table and they sneakily tend to lull you into a keen sense of anticipation when the app says a precise time of delivery but then crush the hope by extending that time not only once but twice, so that, in this case, my food was delivered roughly 20 minutes after the original promise. It was quite cold outside to hover on the pavement outside the house for that additional time.

 

The menu is not extensive and there are the safe items like sweet and sour and chow mein, but there’s also a fragrant orange chicken (presumably not coloured by MSG), kung pao chicken and spicy Mongolian beef and it seems that cauliflower is the go-to plant based option.

 

My order consisted of the Beijing cauliflower wings (R55) as starter and the braised BBQ pork belly (R145) and plain noodles (R10) as mandatory side. You can have them, or smoky noodles or rice, but a side you must have.

 

The order is delivered in a discreet, now de rigeur brown paper bag and once you unbag, you have: 1 x pair of chopsticks, 1 x large, colourful logo serviette, 2 x standard cardboard serving boxes for Chinese food. 

 

The cauliflower “wings” were cooked nicely al dente and the Beijing sauce was  delightfully zingy and flavourful, though the intrinsic essence of cauliflower remained. The low-grade chilli heat lingered pleasantly on the palate. This starter was a winner.

 

The pork belly dish was not as much of a triumph. The noodles take up most of the container and the slices of pork belly rest on top. The belly slices came in three layers. At the top there is the lovely barbecue flavoured skin, then a layer of fat and, lastly, the quite succulent meat. If one sliced through vertically through each slice, I suppose you’d get the full effect of flavour, fat and meat but chopsticks don’t slice, do they?

There was, even for me, too much fat and the meat lacked a sauce or jus to bring it all together as belly meat has little intrinsic flavour. 

 

The noodles had some kind of sauce but I don’t quit know how you’re supposed to eat the meat and noodles at the same time with a pair of chopsticks, so I ate the elements separately.

 

The noodles were well cooked and the sauciness contributed a delectable unctuousness. For R10 it’s an amazing deal though, in this dish, the ratio of noodles to  meat is out of kilter, and eventually one starts to struggle to finish the noodles. 

 

The total bill, with delivery charges, came to R229,50 and this is a tad expensive for what I got regardless of how tasty it was. The quality of the cooking was excellent though, niggles aside, and perhaps I should try more dishes before making a final assessment. The fragrant orange chicken  appeals and would’ve been my first choice if pork belly weren’t on the menu.