You can have cake but you might not eat it

 10 September 2023

 

 

TASHA’S CONSTANTIA VILLAGE

 

An important life lesson is this: if a toasted chicken mayonnaise sandwiches is your go to coffee shop meal, order it whenever you can.  There’s no need to get all edgy and experimental when you’re famished.

 

This maxim was emphasised for the wife when we had lunch at Tasha’s after our return from the breakaway to Franschhoek, not yet ready to call it a culinary day.  She tip toed out of her culinary comfort zone and the risk was not suitably rewarded.

 

We love the Tasha’s  brand for its excellent food, good coffee, ambience and service and it was an adventure to drive to the leafy southern suburbs to the outlet where we’d last eaten brunch on my birthday last year.

 

It was cold and wet in Constantia and Tasha’s was still crowded when we arrived, so we first tried a table outside, under cover and with gas heaters, instead of patiently queueing for 10 to 15 minutes, but when the outside seating   proved to be too cold, I sallied forth and immediately secured a table in the main dining room.

 

Good fortune seemed to smile on us. 

 

The wife ordered chicken livers on toast, topped by a poached egg (R102), a type of dish she would normally eschew but she was motivated by a desire to be daring, to be different and to stretch the envelope.  

 

I also tried something I wouldn’t normally eat, the chicken pot pie (R138).

 

The egg was properly poached and the livers were well cooked and flavourful but the grilled tomatoes were unpleasantly acidic and were pushed aside. There was so much sauce that the toast quickly disintegrated into  mush.  Not a complete disaster but not an unqualified triumph either.

 

The wife concluded that she should’ve stuck with her old faithful.

 

The chicken pot pie was basically a subtly flavoured chicken and mushrooms soup in a ceramic bowl with a crisp, cheesy lid, served with two Romaine lettuces and crackers with the cheesy taste and texture of the pie lid. The combo of chicken, mushroom and lettuce was very tasty and satisfying though I would’ve preferred a less liquid pie filling.  At best, though, it was functional and it’s not a dish I’d order again. 

 

So far, it had been an experience teetering on the edge of disappointment but when we moved on to the sweet afters, something tipped over.

 

I ordered the cheesecake and the wife ordered the gluten free Clementine loaf. 

 

Just after the server had left to deliver our order to the kitchen, the wife remarked that she found it peculiar that I hadn’t ordered a waffle. She knows I dote on waffles.

 

What waffles, says I, I didn’t see any on the menu?

 

There’s a separate waffle menu. When we were outside, we were at the waffle café.  

 

The waffle café?  I hadn’t noticed. I was too absorbed by surviving the cold and studying the menu.

 

I ran to the waiter to cancel the cake order but the Clementine loaf had been cut already, so I could cancel only the cheesecake.  I ordered the vegan banana waffle.

 

The wife took one bite of the Clementine loaf and abandoned it forthwith. It was dry and not to her taste;  she lamented that she really wanted the red velvet cake that Tasha’s no longer seem to offer.

 

She was so distraught, there’s no photograph of the Clementine loaf. It’s not a memory she wants to perpetuate vissiually.

 

Waste not, want not. I ate the forlorn gluten free slice and though it wasn’t so horrible I couldn’t even look at it, it was dry, as gluten free cakes tend to be, and the icing (something I prefer to avoid) was very much needed to add some lubrication and a bit of taste, as the cake itself tasted of nothing much. 

 

Surely people who can’t eat gluten deserve better than that?

 

The waffle, on the other hand, was a humungous, almost  intimidating, thing topped with caramelised banana, coconut yoghurt, salted date caramel toasted almonds and maple flavoured syrup (apparently an entirely synthetic product, which seems to be at odds with the vegan purity of the waffle) and mint.

 

I love the texture of banana batter for waffles (though it does tend to revert to a rubbery texture as it cools down) and the combination of tastes and textures were sublime and each mouthful sparked  joy. This was the highlight of my lunch, except that there was so much of it, and I’d eaten so much already (what with the Clementine loaf I hadn’t expected to eat), that I could manage only about 90% of it.

 

The bill (including a bottle of sparkling water, an espresso and two cappuccinos) came to R569,00 before tip.

 

The service at Tasha’s is always good, the coffee is excellent and it’s one of our favourite brunch spots. Next time though, we’ll revert to the always satisfying same old, same old.