Afternoon tea at The One & Only Hotel

 12 November 2023

 

Afternoon Tea. 

VISTA  BAR & LOUNGE 

The One & Only Hotel, V & A Waterfront, Cape Town 

 

For me afternoon tea means the childhood memory of  Lemon Creams and sweet, milky Five Roses breakfast tea in the kitchen. For the One & Only Hotel it means the sumptuous, luxurious mixture of sweet and savoury things other establishments label High Tea. We mightn’t have gotten high but we sure did enjoy a splendid tea.

 

Fun fact: the elder goddaughter once worked as a baby sitter for hotel guests and was required to enter the building by the service provider’s entrance and to abide by strict rules of conduct and a dress code.

 

Today, she and her sister strode into the hotel as if to the manor born, feeling and looking like billion-dollar babies. They were joining by my lovely wife and me for yet another instalment of the wife’s extended birthday celebrations.

 

Afternoon Tea is R495,00 a head. When I booked, it was suggested that I should pay the entire bill (R1980,00) up front to secure the booking. I would’ve thought a deposit would be more appropriate, but what the hey, I paid that amount and it meant that today’s bill was only R105, for some rather expensive water for the table. However, our hot beverages, tea and coffee, in apparently bottomless supply, were included in the price. That is a significant benefit, as some establishments do limit you to one pot of tea per person and charge extra for, say, a cappuccino even if there is no limit on refills of tea.

 

Our table was at the rear of the spacious, double volume  lounge, which gave us a good deal of privacy yet also the view, the vista, if you will, towards Table Mountain afforded by giant glass windows.

 

The space is quite luxurious, though with a disconcerting vintage feel and a sense of archaic, over-the-top, “inspired by Africa” style that no doubt appeals to the extremely well-healed hotel guests but we found puzzling. Had we wandered into a 70’s time warp?

 

Some of the hotel guests casually wandered through the lounge in their fluffy white robes, as if they’d been to, or were going to, a spa treatment.  In general, though, those of us who came to tea, or were hanging out at the bar, came dressed to the nines. Even in the casual Cape Town atmosphere it can be fun to dress up in something smart.

 

Somewhere in the distance, but still too close, a pianist tinkled away at a piano, perhaps a savage beast soothing sound for some but no better than elevator music to me.  This kind of background music is something I associate with upmarket hotels in Gauteng and I wonder whether it’s meant to be a mark of sophistication. Maybe I’d appreciate it more if I would frequent a better class of elevator.

 

Music notwithstanding, the setting is very comforting.

 

The welcoming cocktail is some non-alcoholic concoction of healthy sounding ingredients and was refreshing. Then there was a bit of a wait for the main event.

 

The tea was served on Perspex tiers in a stand supported by large “O”s, an unsubtle reference, as one goddaughter pointed out, to the One and the Only.

 

The menu gives an excellent description of what we had yet, once the stands were on the table, we were asked to wait before tucking in, as someone would come around to “explain” the assortment to us.   Saved us from the strain of reading small print, I guess. 

 

All of it was very prettily presented and was tasty, yummy, delish and other words of that ilk.  

 

As usual, the sweet outnumbered the savoury and for me, the cumulative effect of all those sweet things is an eventual unpleasant overload of sugar but for those with a fierce sweet tooth, it must be like paradise.

 

My only criticism is that the scones were rather petite and seemed overbaked though they tasted fine.

 

After we’d worked our way through the tiers, or as much of it as we could,  and were quite sated, the wife was presented with a special celebratory plate with a cup cake, assorted bon bons and fruit; a very nice touch. There was no way she could eat it, though, and she took most of it home. Even the goddaughters took some things home.

 

We arrived at 15h00 and left after 18h30, having a very good time, and nobody ever came to enquire whether we were ready to leave, hovered over us to induce us to skedaddle or gave any indication that our time was up, that our seats were required for other guests and that outstaying our welcome wasn’t acceptable. That’s five-star hospitality.

 

The One & Only offers one of the best High Tea experiences in the Cape Peninsula and Winelands and is well-priced for what you get. Highly recommended.