The Girls on the Square, Wilderness

THE KLOOF STREET HOUSE

30 Kloof Street, Cape Town

 

As a public service to members of this group Von-Mari and I (with compadres) explored Kloof Street House’s Winter Special lunch menu as well as the standard a la carte menu. It’s a tough job, no-one asked us to do it but we are selfless like that. 

 

I would love to know what prominent Old Capetonian family  once resided in this enormous Victorian era building that managed to survive in a city where so many such buildings have disappeared. There have been significant changes to the interior but a good deal of it, such as the magnificent, high, pressed metal ceilings, remain. The ceilings are decorated in bright colours and patterns, lovingly restored to a glory that might rival the ceilings of the Sistine Chapel, in some alternative universe. 

 

The opulence of the decoration below those glorious ceilings verges on over-the-top vulgar, and the main impression is of a high-end, over-stocked antique store also serving diners. The walls are covered by paintings and photographs, there are all manner of statuettes  and similar  pieces of art everywhere and there’s an eclectic array of older furniture.  

 

I don’t care for a restaurant that looks like a works cafeteria but some restraint would’ve been nice. On the other hand, Von-Mari absolutely loves the interior and says she wouldn’t change a thing; so, there’s that.

 

What once was an open garden at the entrance to the premises, is now a pleasant outside dining area protected by a leafy arbour, for a more informal experience on warm days. It makes me think of those early Impressionist paintings of Renoir set in Parisian beer gardens.

 

The main dining area of the restaurant is situated on the two spacious front rooms, on either side of the central passage, with the interior walls separating them, knocked out to create an organic flow. 

 

Beyond this area, there are, on the left hand side, a lovely, old-fashioned bar area and opposite the bar, on the right hand side of the passage, there is what the British call a snug, i.e. a cosy, comfy lounge.

 

The kitchen is beyond this, on the left, the restrooms on the right and there is yet another shady lounging area in the small backyard.

 

Never mind lunch, one could simply hang here with a drink and perhaps a snack.

 

Lighting in the interior is quite dim, for even more atmosphere than the decorations would supply. If you don’t have perfect vision, reading the menu is more of a challenge than it should be.

 

My general impression of other patrons, on both our visits,  was that they’d dressed up for elegant dining and were most definitely up for opulence in décor and pricing.

 

The service staff present as Gen Z yet to experience quarter life crises, in fashionably loose and flowing clothing, as if they were specially dressed by exclusive boutiques. No white blouse/shirt and black trouser/skirt uniformity here. I suppose the look is intended to accentuate the luxurious upper-classness of the vibe.

 

Lunch #1

 

Von-Mari, her colleague and I belatedly celebrated the colleague’s birthday and opted for the Winter Lunch Special of two courses for R250,00 or three courses for R295,00.

When the server showed us to our table, close to the fireplace, she presented only the standard menu and we had to ask for the Winter Special Menu. I guess the restaurant’s preference is that patrons should order from the more expensive main menu and shouldn’t be encouraged to opt for the more budget friendly option.

 

Starters were two portions of the mushroom soup of the day  with cheese toast

and one portion of  Gorgonzola and wild mushroom arancini.

The toasted ciabatta slice was supremely cheesy. The soup was okay, with an inordinately subtle mushroom flavour that made it quite nondescript and it as also not very warm when it arrived at the table.

 

The three arancini were a much better deal: substantial, crisp and with delectable, bold flavour.

 

The three main courses were parpadelle with lamb ragu,

wagyu beef sliders

and grilled hake.

The wagyu sliders, served with fries, were close to being mini hamburgers and I had one. The fries were crisp and the meat on the slider was perfectly cooked, deeply flavourful and utterly delicious. 

 

The perfectly cooked hake was served only with rice and a good tartare sauce and though it was hardly a gut busting portion, it was satisfactorily tasty. The lamb ragu pasta was also flavourful and yummy; all main meals slapped (as the young’uns would say).

 

My malva pudding was generous and yummy, though not spectacular,

but the other two, who shared a tiramisu brownie, made the happy sounds of extreme delight.

The first version of the bill came to R946,00 (including a bottle of still water) and included a mystifying  charge for 2 aioli sauces at R36,00, which we hadn’t ordered. Somehow there was a bit of back and forth between us, the server and the manager, with whom the server conferred elsewhere, before the unwarranted charge was removed from the bill, which then came to R910,00 before tip. We thought this was excellent value for money and a definite recommendation.

 

Lunch #2

 

This time, we invited two friends to join us for Sunday lunch. 

 

The Winter Special Menu isn’t available on Sundays but between 12h00 and 15h00 a jazz combo, set up outside, provides mellow, cocktail jazz vibes to enhance the appetite, although that might’ve been more particularly  applicable to the diners in the garden. Inside, the music soon faded into the background.

 

Kloof Street House isn’t a low budgie burger joint and some of the prices make one sweat about the credit limits on your card.  The one item that makes the eyes pop is R995,00 for 200g of Karoo wagyu steak. I know that wagyu (simply the collective bane for the four principal Japanese breeds of beef cattle) is currently  fashionable and very expensive, if it indeed originates in Japan but charging that much for a sliver of locally bred cow meat seems a tad opportunistic.

 

Our server also punted the specials of the day, which included a Kingklip cassoulet, a whole baby Kingklip, sans head and tail, and a 250g fillet steak for R500,00. My taste buds went bingo! when I heard the phrase “Kingklip cassoulet” (two individual items I love) but I quickly scotched my cassoulet jones when I heard how much the “special” steak would be. Chances were that the fishy cassoulet would be a wallet buster too.

 

Von-Mari and the other husband shared a bottle of shiraz, I had the “perfect G & T” with lime and bitters and the other wife stuck to water.

 

We shared the bread “starter” (R65) of ciabatta with charred spring onion miso butter, roasted capsicum butter, Cape Malay curry butter and pickled baby vegetables. The bread was warm and crusty, the butter quite unctuous and the pickled veg provided  a tart contrast,  all very delish but a bit spenny at the price.

 

The other three chose the South African “bord kos” (R325,00) consisting of braised lamb shoulder, crisp rosemary potatoes, (tiny, tiny) pumpkin fritters, rooibos honey glazed carrots, creamed spinach and rosemary jus. 

I ordered the grilled Norwegian salmon with steamed baby potatoes, pickled cucumber ribbons, steamed greens and a dill mustard cream (R335,00). I felt dumber than a bag of hammers when the server enquired at what temperature I would like my salmon and I had no clue what she was on about. Nobody had ever asked me that question when I ordered a fish dish.

 

Von-Mari helpfully informed me that the question related to how well-cooked I wanted the salmon. Why not just ask me that in the first place?

 

I asked for it as raw as legally allowed, my standard request for any protein, excluding chicken. The temperature question was finally cleared up when my fish was served. It had been cooked to “rare” and was still pink inside, like a properly seared tuna, but the fiesh itself was barely warm and the skin was not crisp at all, which was a disappointment. However, the salmon absolutely melted in my mouth.  Exquisite. 

Loved the al dente vegetables but the mustard element of the accompyning cream was too subtle for me and was somewhat overpowered by the dill.

 

I gathered that the others were quite happy with their food as they all cleared their plates and licked their lips. 

 

For dessert, I recommended the sticky malva pudding (R125) to the other guy (his wife declined a sweet treat), Von-Mari chose the deeply rich chocolate fondant (R135) and I had the salted caramel cheesecake. 

 

Von-Mari experienced a moment of ecstasy with her chocolate fondant and I left her to her own devices, not wanting to intrude in her moment of bliss. But yes, she clearly enjoyed that pud! So much so, she omitted to photograph the fount of her joy.

 

My cheesecake was topped with candied popcorn (that visually bulked up an otherwise bijou dessert) and was served with a good vanilla pod ice cream. The texture of the cheesecake was dry and blissfully light and it was not overly sweet, just the way I like it and found it very satisfying. 

My cappuccino was good, too.

 

The total bill with tip came to R2570,00 so not exactly a cheap lunch date but also not extremely out there;. the norm for Cape Town nowadays.

 

Kloof Street House provides a luxurious background to a superb dining experience at a price point approaching fine dining levels and is well worthwhile for date night or special occasions. However, the Winter Special Menu is great value for money as a general  proposition. There is also a set menu brunch menu at R275,00 per person that also looks like great value and we will try that out real soon (according to my wife).

 

Other than the niggles mentioned regarding Lunch #1, service is exemplary. At Sunday lunch our server was probably a tad exasperated at how long it took for us, collectively, to decide what wanted to drink and eat but she remained patient and cheerful.